


Closing the Goddamn Door

by Tamasha



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anger, Angst, Cake, Closeted Character, Crack, F/M, Gay, Hopeful Ending, Humor, Laughter, Modern Era, Panic At The Disco (Band), Partner Betrayal, Pre-Slash, Relationship(s), Songfic, Weddings, drunk!arthur
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-14
Updated: 2015-07-14
Packaged: 2018-04-09 06:40:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4337831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tamasha/pseuds/Tamasha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As Arthur prepares for his wedding to Gwen, he overhears the bridesmaids gossiping and learns something about Gwen and his own best man, Lance!</p><p>Based on the song 'I Write Sins Not Tragedies' by Panic! At The Disco.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Closing the Goddamn Door

**Author's Note:**

> written by Tamara

Lancelot adjusted Arthur’s tie as Arthur watched him in the mirror. Most people were excited on their wedding day, but Arthur just felt nervous. Not nervous-enthusiastic, more like nervous-apprehensive. But he shouldn’t be. He loved Guinevere. She was his high-school sweetheart and the only girl Arthur had slept with. Beside his awful first time with Morgause that was actually the most terrifying moment of Arthur’s life, but that didn't count. No, Gwen was the love of his life. Still, he felt like there was something bad, looming in the distance. Something that made Arthur want to cower in this room forever.

“You look great, sir.” Lancelot looked over Arthur, proudly. “You should be more excited! Today is going to be a good day!” Even Lance didn’t seem to believe that.

Arthur made a noise and looked at himself in his black tux. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. They always said it was normal to have cold feet. But Arthur’s feet felt freezing right now. “Thanks, Lance,” Arthur said, trying his best to cover his anxieties.

“That’s what I’m here for!” Lance turned to grab a comb from the table behind him. “I gotta look out for my best mate.” That was true. Lancelot was his best friend, that’s why Arthur made him his Best Man. Arthur couldn’t imagine anyone else by his side today. "Everything will be fine," Lancelot stated, his voice full of hope. Fresh with confidence, Arthur took a deep breath and decided today would be a good day. Lance was right.

His Best Man combed the bit of fringe out of Arthur’s eyes and looked over his friend for the last time. “All finished.” Lance smiled.

“Great, just in time for me to pee.” Arthur realized suddenly that this would be his last chance to pee before the ceremony, causing him to really have to go.

Lance sighed, “All right, but hurry up.”

For some reason, his changing room at the church didn’t have a bathroom attached to it, so he had to go across the hall, to the bathroom next to the bridesmaids dressing room. Once relieved, Arthur began to walk back to his dressing room to retrieve Lancelot. The ladies dressing room door was open slightly and Arthur’s pace was slow enough that he could hear them muttering as he passed.

Gwen’s bridesmaids were all catty and gossipy, Arthur knew that. But they didn’t lie. He especially knew he could trust Morgause. Morgause was Arthur’s terrifying first, yes, but she was also one of his closest female friends. And she was dating his sister, Morgana, so Arthur knew he had a strong ally in her.

“What a beautiful wedding!” Arthur heard Elena say. He slowed his pace even more, smiling at what he had heard. He had always wondered what Elena thought of him. It was nice to know she approved.

Arthur stopped right outside the door, hoping to hear some more encouragements for the day, but all Arthur heard was Morgause’s voice. “Yes, but what a shame the poor groom’s bride is a whore.”

What!? Arthur’s heart sped up. He tried to control himself but his anger started to build. Morgause wasn’t one to throw around that word lightly, she was a feminist and would only call another woman that if she had lost all respect for her. Which meant -

“Haven’t you people ever heard of closing the goddamn door!?” Arthur said bitterly, pushing the door open more with his foot. He stood in the doorway, arms crossed, waiting for an explanation. “So, Gwen is a whore, Morgause?”

Morgause looked guilty and annoyed all at once. She pushed Arthur out of the doorway and closed the door behind her. “You weren’t supposed to hear that.”

“Why?” Arthur spat.

Morgause looked down at her hands for a moment and then back at Arthur hesitantly. “It’s Lance.”

Shit.

Arthur stumbled back a few steps, looking at Morgause, waiting for her to say it wasn’t true, but it was. Morgause would never do that to him. Arthur breathed in, sucking away the disbelief that was now turning to bitter anger and sadness. "No..."

"Arthur, I am so sorry." Morgause’s face was painted with regret, but Arthur knew she had wanted to tell him for a long time. She didn’t keep secrets well, and the only reason she kept it from Arthur this long probably had something to do with the fact that it was Lance, and not some stranger. Since it was Lancelot, it was more heartbreaking. He wasn’t supposed to betray Arthur. Then again, neither was Gwen. He was going to marry her today.

Arthur waved away Morgause’s feigned remorse, and backed off down the hall. "Just... don't," was all Arthur could get out. He didn’t even know what he was trying to say. He just couldn’t look at her anymore.

Somehow, Arthur found himself in the kitchen after a bit of wandering. He watched the caterers hurry about preparing food. He stood in the middle of the room, only halfway conscious of his surroundings. Then Arthur saw his wedding cake. It was sitting in the corner, smug and mocking Arthur.

One of the wait staff members stopped what she was doing and paused near Arthur. "Do you need something, dear?"

Arthur blinked, turning from the cake he was staring at to the young girl. She must not have known who he was. He realized none of them had any real reason to know. They were all just hired through the catering company. "You might as well stop," Arthur said flatly. "There isn't going to be a reception."

"Sorry, love, what?" She was sweet, but Arthur hated her in that moment.

"I'm the one paying you, and I'm telling you there is no use in continuing what you are doing." That's when Arthur saw the crates of champagne.

He pushed past the still-confused girl and went over to the boxes full of bottles. "Those are for the reception, sir."

"I told you there wasn't going to be one," Arthur snapped as he ripped open a box angrily.

He didn’t even know what he was angry about anymore. He felt most angry that he had paid for all this and it wasn't going to be used - which was an odd thing to be angry about right now, considering the circumstances. The anger towards Gwen would come soon enough. Not to mention, the anger towards Lancelot. Though, thinking about that, as Arthur popped open a bottle, he was more hurt than anything. As Arthur gulped down the beverage, he began to feel despair and self-pity most of all.

 

~~~

 

Lance began to get worried after Arthur had been gone for 20 minutes. The ceremony was supposed to begin, and the groom was nowhere to be found. Lancelot had looked in the bathroom several times, but he checked again, just for good measure.

Just as Lancelot had made the decision to look downstairs, Morgause found him. "Hey, Lance." She never called him 'Lance'.

"Hey, Morgause. Have you seen Arthur?"

Her face told him everything before she even spoke, but Lancelot waited, hoping he was wrong. "He found out about you and Gwen."

"How?" But he already knew how. He was surprised it had taken her this long to tell Arthur.

"I didn’t mean to. I wanted to. Trust me, I don't regret that I did, it just wasn't supposed to be like that." She looked vulnerable. A look Lance had never seen on her before. "I wanted to give you a chance to tell him yourself.  We all knew Arthur and Guinevere weren’t right for each other, but that was always up to the two of them to figure out. But you, Lancelot, you were his best friend." Her face became hard, her jawline deepened. "Find him. Tell him yourself, like you were supposed to. You owe that to him."

She was right. As much as Lance didn’t want to admit it, she was right. The more he thought about it, the more he blamed himself. Gwen was alway going to be the one to break Arthur’s heart. It wasn’t in Arthur to be cruel or give up on someone, but Lancelot, Lancelot was supposed to be his Best Man. His best friend. And his betrayal was somehow worse.

"Thanks, Morgause," Lance whispered, doing his best not to come off as facetious. With that, Lance turned to go and face his friend, and hoped that somehow Arthur could forgive him.

 

~~~

 

Arthur was sitting in the middle of the lawn (the grass was soft) outside the church when Lance walked up to him. How it took him this long to find Arthur was baffling. Arthur was surprised no one had approached him sooner than this (the idiots). They had kicked him out of the kitchen (rude!), but he managed to grab at least two bottles of champagne before he left. Both of which were entirely empty at this point. "Hey, Lance. Wedding's canceled. Did y’hear?"

His Best Man sat next to him in the grass and picked up the two empty bottles (he protested the disappearing alcohol with grabby hands). "I should have told you, Arthur. I should have said something as soon as it happened."

"She’s my fiancé, Lance. ‘N you’re... You were m’friend." Arthur’s drunkenness faded slightly, slightly (or maybe not) when he realized that Lancelot was going to make him talk about it. "When'd ya do it?"

"Arthur -"

"When!?" The anger came in one fell swoop. It was all he could do not to scream (maybe he was already; he couldn’t tell).

Lance looked at the grass. "Two weeks ago."

(His head hurt...) "D'ya love her?" Arthur didn’t know which answer would be worse, but he needed to find out.

There was a moment where neither man spoke. "Yes." For some inexplicable reason, Arthur was relieved. (Honestly, if his fiancé was going to cheat on him, at least it was with someone that loved her.)

Even though Arthur had not forgiven Lancelot, he felt like he was done talking to him. Arthur stood (the world wobbled). "See ya at the 'ception! I've a weddin' to crash into." He walked quickly to the church, knowing that Lance was going to try to stop him (seriously, the world had gotten really wobbly). Arthur was quicker than Lancelot (way quicker) and he only fell down once.

The groom (that was Arthur) reached the chapel where his wedding ceremony was to take place. Every pew (pew, pew!) was full, and a priest waited at the alter with some confused groomsmen. "’Come to the hap'est weddin’ in all've England." The crowd turned as Arthur flung open the doors at the end of the aisle. "Where’s m’bride?"

She wasn't supposed to be there, but maybe since Arthur had been missing for so long (soooo long), she had come down to see what she could do to help find him (because she was soooo helpful). Guinevere was next to her mother in the front row. She stood up quickly (soooo quickly) and faced Arthur, tears in her eyes.

Arthur’s first reaction was to feel bad for her (but fuck that). It was her own fault this was happening. "Arthur! Where have you been!?"

"Just ‘round. Kinda like you, Guinev’re d'rest." The guests began murmuring amongst themselves. "Look at it 's way, I mean tech-nic-ally our marriage's saved. So... I call for a toast." Arthur walked down the aisle to his bride (not so much). "L's pour th’ sham-pain!"

She was hurt, confused, and embarrassed all at once. "How did you..." But she must have realized that it didn’t matter how Arthur found out.

"Toast!" Arthur faced the congregation. "To Lady Guinev’re and Arthur Pen-dr’gon. May al’s find happiness... Oh wait." Arthur acted as if he had just remembered something, flicking his finger in the air (he was so clever). "D'd I say Arthur? S'rry, must’ve read th’vintation wrong." He challenged Gwen with his eyes (en garde!). "You like to tell ‘em, or… what."

Arthur waiter for her to respond, but she just met his eyes and shook her head. Then she gave him an angry look and ran out the back door, behind the priest. (Bitch.)

Realizing he had made a fool of himself (well...), Arthur dropped to the steps leading to the altar. He looked around at the blurred faces that were supposed to wish him good luck today (but no one said anything). The chatter in the chapel filled his ears (so loud) and Arthur tried to drown it out. He slumped his head into his hands (his head hurt) and wished that there was a way to turn back time and make it so that something had gone right today. Anything.

 

~~~

 

Lance directed the guests to the lawn and tried to explain as delicately as possible. Really there was no easy way to say it, so he settled on just saying that the wedding was canceled for “internal issues.” But gossip runs fast, and Lance knew by the looks some of them gave him that about half of the guests knew the truth. It was Lancelot’s mess to clean up, so he bore the brunt of the awkwardness. He owed that to Arthur. Lancelot felt personally responsible, as he should, for all of the events today. Even Arthur’s foolish outburst.

After Gwen ran away, Elena went to see to her. She texted Lance that Gwen would be at her house tonight, which was probably best. Lance didn’t know what to do about her. On one hand he wanted to rush to her side and comfort her. He saw her pained look when Arthur burst down the aisle. There was nothing he wanted more than to be with her, but he couldn’t let that happen, not now. Maybe in time. Now, he had to attend to Arthur.

Arthur had disappeared after the crowd began to shuffle out of the church. Lance didn’t immediately look for him, but he thought maybe he should see if Arthur was all right. Igraine insisted that they let him have some space for the time being. There was plenty to clean up and she was right, Arthur would want to be alone. Besides, Lance was the last person Arthur would want to see at the moment.

So Lancelot did what he was known for best: he helped out. He didn’t know the feeling of true guilt and lonely remorse till today. He couldn’t imagine how Arthur was feeling. But if it was anything close to what Lance felt, then it would take a long time to mend his heart.

 

~~~

 

Most of the caterers had left. Arthur was sitting in the corner of the kitchen with a spatula in his hand, and his shirt halfway unbuttoned. He had thrown up most of the alcohol he had consumed, so now he was left half sober and mostly miserable. His body and his mind were in utter pain. He didn’t remember why he had the spatula in his hand, but he knew he didn’t want anyone to take it from him. A last member of the wait staff walked into the kitchen. Arthur wasn’t really looking at him, so the man just made himself busy without a word.

“I should have known,” Arthur moaned mindlessly. “She never really loved me. We were just together out of habit, really.”

The caterer stopped what he was doing. “Sorry, what?”

Arthur looked up. The waiter had black hair that was combed over and big ears sticking out on either side of his head. He must have been the manager or something, because he was dressed in a white button up instead of the red that the others were in. He had a red bowtie though, that Arthur thought made him look absolutely adorable. Arthur laughed at himself. “Nothing. Just having one of those days.”

“Hm.” The man walked towards Arthur and knelt beside him. “You know, I heard that this was going to be a boring wedding, anyway.”

Arthur laughed out loud. “It sure wasn’t going to be good, I’ll give you that. I mean, I planned most of it and I had no idea what I was doing.”

“You did fine.” He stood up and went back to gather the last of the items in the kitchen.

He stopped and looked at the cake that was still in the corner. The caterers hadn’t brought it, so it was the last thing in the kitchen. “What do you want me to do with the cake, sir?”

“It’s Arthur.” That confused that caterer for some reason. “My name is Arthur.”

“Right,” he said hesitantly. “What about the cake, though?”

Arthur sighed; he didn’t even want to think about that. He had paid for an entire 18 inch tall cake and something needed to be done with it. “Honestly, I don’t know.” Before the man took it away, Arthur stopped him. “Wait. I’ll pay you for an extra hour if you sit here and eat it with me.”

The man laughed. “I put away all the utensils…”

“I have a spatula,” Arthur proudly held it up like a trophy.

Again, he laughed, causing Arthur to join in. The caterer brought over the cake and placed it between them. He sat cross-legged on the other side of the cake and began to cut it with the spatula that Arthur had handed him. “My name’s Merlin.” He smiled as he handed Arthur a piece of cake that Arthur took with his hand.

“Good to meet you.” They sat together in silence for a moment, eating the cake with their fingers and a spatula. For some reason, Arthur felt content. Something made him suddenly feel that, despite everything that had happened, maybe everything was going to be okay. He had lost his fiancé and his best friend all in one day, but he had cake, a spatula, and a new friend. At least something good had happened today.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Who doesn't love a good mash-up? Especially when it's Panic! At the Disco and Merlin. This one is pretty self-explanatory if you've heard the song. I hope you thought it was as funny as I did. Thanks to Natasha for the help with drunk Arthur, it's definitely my favorite part.


End file.
